


You Got The Bow, I Got The Guys, So Let's Play Cupid

by Miss_Ebony



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Get Together, Humor, M/M, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7156823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Ebony/pseuds/Miss_Ebony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m saying, I’m not willing to watch Steve and Tony acting like total idiots any longer. They’re so obviously into each other it basically hurts that they don’t get it. Well, Tony hasn’t figured it out yet, I guess, or else things wouldn’t be that sad. But Steve, obviously, <em>has</em> figured it out, but just wouldn’t man up to tell Tony!” Natasha finished her tirade by throwing her hands up, sighing a sigh of the long suffering. Really, she shouldn’t get that worked up because that just couldn’t be healthy.</p><p>“Wow, saying Captain America, basically the personification of manliness and masculinity to all Americans, needs to man up. Nice one, Nat,” Clint snorted, raising his brows at her.</p><p>“But,” she continued, ignoring Clint’s comment, “I have a plan.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Got The Bow, I Got The Guys, So Let's Play Cupid

**Author's Note:**

> So, this fic is basically me dealing with Civil War and Age of Ultron by choosing to ignore their existence and going back to the good ol' Avengers-Tower-Team-Bonding-Days. Yeah, the good old days. Sigh.

As Natasha heard a loud thud, she turned to look up from the newspaper spread out before her on the breakfast table. And she looked up just in time to catch Steve rubbing his hip from where he'd obviously walked against the kitchen isle, muttering swears under his breath.

Her brow described a perfect arc as she quickly made out the source of Steve’s distraction which got him to actually _walk into something_ : Tony half leaning, half lying on the countertop, waiting for the coffee machine to make him coffee. The sweatpants he was wearing, were hanging loosely around his hips, exposing a streak of bare skin. And Steve was staring at it as if his life depended on it. Well, at Tony's ass as well, and that rather obviously.

“Hey Cap, that kitchen isle didn't do you anything, so no need to attack it,” Clint said in between two spoonfuls of Froot Loops.

Natasha was very close to lean over the table to smack him on the head, but she’d long since learned to resist that reflex. She settled on shooting him a pointed look while raising one brow at him.

“Ah, y-yeah, right,” Steve stammered, blushing slightly as he tore his gaze away from Tony.

“I’m not thinking the good Captain's intention was to attack but rather to pass,” Thor said, coming from the kitchen, his plate loaded with at least three pounds of bacon and eggs.

“Clint was just joking, Thor,” Bruce said, looking up from his own newspaper to shoot Thor a warm smile.

“Wait a moment until I got my coffee, so I can give a comment too,” Tony yawned, shuffling closer to the coffee machine as if it would get it to produce his coffee any faster.

“Guys, please,” Steve whined. “Can't we talk about something else?”

“Right Barton, shame on you for bullying poor Steve first thing in the morning.” Tony’d finally gotten his hands on his coffee and seemed as if he could join the conversation now.

“If I wanted to bully him, I'd – Ow, Nat!!”

“Oops, my leg slipped,” Natasha said, giving Clint a sweet smile which might be considered scary by lesser men.

“Leg slipped, my ass,” Clint grumbled as he turned back to eat his Froot Loops.

“But, you see, I can totally understand why you walked into it,” Tony said, earning himself a bewildered look from Steve.

“Y-You do?”

“Of course. If I'm running low on energy and there's the prospect of coffee in ultimate proximity, there's no way my coordination would work properly,” Tony mused while nursing his coffee. Natasha gave an internal sigh. Apparently Tony could be rated ‘even bigger idiot than usual’ when he was running low on caffeine.

“Oh, I-I see,” Steve said, looking fairly relieved.

Natasha kept herself from rolling her eyes and sighing heavily. That was it. She was done with watching those two being utter idiots. If they couldn't get their shit together, she thought it wouldn't hurt to help them a little.

\------

After everyone had went off to start/continue/finish their day (it was a little hard to tell with a bunch of superheroes having all quite different circadian rhythms), Natasha saw her chance to confront Clint with her plan in the otherwise empty living room. He was currently lying on the couch, so she sneaked up on him from behind and snatched the remote away from him easily enough. Clint always let his guard down when he was watching TV, but guard down or not, she would’ve gotten the remote easy enough anyway. So, now she turned to stand in front of the TV and turned it off with a determined click.

“So, I’m not going to watch that sad spectacle continue any longer,” she said as she put her hands on her hips.

Clint had turned from lounging on the couch to disbelievingly watching her turn off the TV to trying to snatch the remote back. But Natasha had none of it and held it nonchalantly up over her head.

“Ok, fine,” Clint said, narrowing his eyes at her. “I _know_ we’ve watched Die Hard at least a thousand times, and I _know_ some action scenes’re unrealistic, but even you should know that it’s just blasphemy to call it a sad spectacle. So, there’s absolutely no need to turn the TV off, you heathen,” Clint half hissed, half whined as he tried to reach for the remote without rolling off of the couch.

“I’m not talking about Die Hard.”

“Turning the TV off without any reason is even worse than blasphemy. Thou shall burn on the pyre, witch!”

“I’m going to burn _you_ if you won’t shut up about that stupid TV.” Natasha narrowed her eyes dangerously at Clint.

“Come to think of it, I was just done with watching TV anyway.” Clint quickly turned to sit up and Natasha couldn’t help the corners of her lips twitching up into a smug little smile.

“So,” he said, making a sweeping gesture with his hand, “the lady shall now declare her concerns about that so called ‘sad spectacle’.”

The smile immediately made way for the urge to massage her temples and kill Clint later in his sleep. But instead, Natasha settled on throwing the remote on the armchair out of Clint’s reach and crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m saying, I’m not willing to watch Steve and Tony acting like total idiots any longer. They’re so obviously into each other it basically hurts that they don’t get it. Well, Tony hasn’t figured it out yet, I guess, or else things wouldn’t be that _sad_. But _Steve_ , obviously, _has_ figured it out, but just wouldn’t man up to tell Tony!” She finished her tirade by throwing her hands up, sighing a sigh of the long suffering. Really, she shouldn’t get that worked up because that just couldn’t be healthy.

“Wow, saying Captain America, basically the personification of manliness and masculinity to all Americans, needs to man up. Nice one, Nat,” Clint snorted, raising his brows at her.

“But,” she continued, ignoring Clint’s comment, “I have a plan.”

“Okay, first: I don’t like it when you’ve got a plan. It never bodes well. Second: I definitely don’t like that look on your face. And third: I _absolutely_ don’t like the fact that you’re coming to me with whatever plan you’ve got involving Oblivious Man and Captain I-won’t-tell-him-for-whatever-reasons.”

“Ah, nuh-uh!” Natasha shook her head, a slow smile starting to form on her lips. “You’re definitely going to help me whether you like it or not.”

Natasha watched Clint starting to pout. “Why would you want me to help you anyway? Besides, _I’m_ totally fine with them being ridiculous. It’s always funny to watch.”

“And, you see, that’s the point. You’re the factor most likely to thwart my plan. So, to keep you from doing so, the only logical thing to do is involving you in it.”

“I’m not sure if that’s logical at all.”

“Besides, you wouldn’t want to miss out on the chance of _scheming_ , would you?”

“Weeeeell,” Clint said, leaning forward to stare at Natasha. “If there was scheming going on in Avengers Tower and I wouldn’t be part of the plotting end, I guess it’d ruin my reputation.”

“ _Now_ we’re on the same page,” Natasha said, smiling to herself as she sat down next to Clint. “Okay, so I’m 65% positive that it’s going to be a multiple-stage plan. So listen up, I’ve already come up with stage one.”

* * *

> **Stage ONE:** ~~Set a romantic mood to get _both_ of them to get aware of each other~~ Get Oblivious Man to be less oblivious
> 
> **Operation:** ~~‘Movie Night’~~ ‘Captain, Oh Captain of my Heart’
> 
> **Operation Status:** ready for start →  STARTED

* * *

Steve and Tony were in front of the TV with Tony having his feet propped up on Steve’s lap. So, Steve was currently watching some weird documentation about a man trying to survive 72 hours in the Himalayas with just a pocket knife and a shoelace, and Tony was tabbing away on his tablet as things started to get weird.

Okay, Thor flinging himself into the armchair next to Steve, and Bruce taking his preferred armchair on the other end of the couch wasn’t weird. After all, it was movie night. The weird part started with Clint and Natasha.

“Stark, scoot over,” Clint said, standing in front of the couch while popping a handful of Cheetos in his mouth.

“You do realize that this couch is big enough for the three of us to sit, lie, whatever, on it _without_ me needing to actually move?” Tony asked, not even looking up from his tablet.

“Uh, no?” Clint popped another handful of Cheetos in his mouth. “Now, move it Stark. Nat’s coming as well.”

There came an overly dramatic sigh from Tony as he lifted his feet out of Steve’s lap (much to Steve’s disappointment, but nobody asked for his opinion anyway) to sit up. Clint immediately plopped down next to him.

“So, whose turn is it today?” Bruce asked.

“My turn.”

Steve noticed Tony startling slightly as Natasha suddenly appeared out of nowhere, coming to stand in front of the couch as well.

“Clint, if I’m supposed to fit on that couch as well, you need to move your big ass.”

“You heard her Stark.”

“I’m 100% sure she said ‘Clint’ and not ‘Tony’, but if you’re not convinced feel free to ask Jarvis.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at Tony just protesting for protest’s sake. He nudged Tony’s shoulder as he said, “Come on, scoot over.”

“But just because it’s you Cap.” Tony shot Natasha and Clint a look through narrowed eyes which Steve guessed was supposed to be deadly, but in Steve’s eyes it was just plain adorable. Ugh, wait, he shouldn’t think of Tony as adorable. And his heart shouldn’t be doing strange things just because Tony said he’d do something just for him.

They scooted until there was no space to scoot left, with Tony sitting so close to Steve he could actually feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“Come on, that’s all you got boys?” Natasha raised one of her perfect brows at them.

“God, where do you want us to scoot? You want me to sit on Steve’s lap or what??” Tony abandoned his tablet to throw his hands in the air before he quickly turned to say to Steve, “Not that I’d mind at all, but you know, matter of principle ‘n stuff.”

Oh, Steve wouldn’t mind _at all_ as well. He’d even tend to vehemently encourage that idea, but he knew there was no use in getting his hopes up.

Natasha seemed clearly unimpressed and simply raised her second brow at Tony, placing her hands on her hips.

“Fine, whatever!” That was when Tony closed the last distance between them so they were now sitting flush against each other. Steve blessed and cursed Natasha at the same time.

But Natasha didn’t seem to mind at all. She simply gave them a very little smug smile before she plopped down on the couch, propping her feet up on Clint’s lap, just like Tony’d done with Steve only moments before. And it seemed as if she didn’t mind at all as well that she was now probably taking up two thirds of the couch. Steve’s brain was too busy dealing with Tony’s thigh brushing against his with every single movement to even come up with the idea of protesting.

“I can’t believe you guys. This couch is probably one of the biggest – ”

“Can it, Stark. So, where’s the remote? Let’s get movie night started.”

Steve got himself to pass the remote to Natasha before his thoughts turned back into ‘Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God’. He took a deep breath as he tried to concentrate on something else than Tony’s warmth. The TV seemed like a good option.

“So, what are we going to watch?” Bruce now asked after having observed the whole scene with a half amused half confused expression.

“We,” Natasha said, clicking through the movie library, “are going to watch Titanic.”

“Oh my God, you gotta be kidding.” Tony turned to stare at Natasha in disbelief and the friction of his movement made Steve twitch unintentionally.

“Why? It’s a masterpiece of romance and drama,” Natasha said, giving a half shrug.

“Overly dramatic romance, yeah, and that totally makes it a chic flick.”

“Jack’s and Rose’s romance isn’t overly dramatic but heartbreaking. But _you_ wouldn’t know real romance even if it hit you in the face anyway.” As she said so, Steve couldn’t tell for sure if her gaze flickered for a brief second to Steve, or if he was just imagining things.

“Oh, come on. We’re all grown men here, apart from you, so there’s no way we – ”

“Well,” Bruce interjected. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t watch Titanic.”

Steve watched Tony clutch at his chest in a dramatic gesture, making big eyes at Bruce.

“Brucey, _you_ of all people are betraying me?”

Bruce didn’t actually snort, because Bruce was way too polite to snort, but it was very close to it. “I’m not betraying you. I’m just stating my opinion. And by the way, I actually like Titanic.”

“This ‘Titanic’ sounds like a piece of romance, able to evoke epic emotions, to me. So I don’t see why you would hate to watch it,” Thor said, folding his hands behind his head. “Romance has always possessed the power to move me in the deepest reaches of my soul.”

“Exactly my words Thor.” Natasha gave Thor a thumbs up.

“That’s just because he hasn’t watched it yet,” Tony groaned.

“C’mon Tony,” Steve said, giving him an encouraging smile. “It can’t be that _bad_. Besides, I haven’t watched it yet, and if Natasha says it’s a masterpiece of romance and drama, I feel like I’d miss out on something.”

Tony turned to pout at him, his arms crossed over his chest like a nine year old. Then he turned from pouting to making puppy eyes at Steve, and Steve just knew if Tony’d ever find out just how _weak_ he got when he looked at him like that, it’d probably be his undoing.

His lips twitched up into a helpless little smile, but before he actually felt like giving in to those unbelievably beautiful eyes, Natasha saved him by saying, “So, that pretty much settles it. After all, we’d be lousy friends if we’d let Thor and Steve continue their lives without having watched Titanic. But anyway, why am I even arguing with you, Stark? It’s my turn, so my choice.”

But before she could hit ‘play’, Tony stabbed a finger in Natasha’s and Clint’s general direction, saying, “You know, I _hate_ to say this, but we haven’t heard Legolas’ opinion yet.”

All of them turned to look at Clint who’d been eating his Cheetos unusually quietly up to now.

“What?” he asked around a mouthful of Cheetos. “I’m fine with Titanic.”

“Even _you_ agree? Is this some secret conspiracy - which, by the way, I think would be totally uncool - going on here? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Legolas here would be the first one to protest against some cheesy chick flick.”

Clint simply shrugged at that. “Like I said: I’m cool with Titanic.”

That was when Tony threw his hands in the air. “Fine!”

Steve caught Clint smirking as they all turned back to look at the TV when Natasha finally started the movie, saying, “You’re such a drama queen, Stark.”

\------

It probably wasn’t even ten minutes into the movie, when Tony fell asleep. Steve wouldn’t have minded at all if Tony hadn’t fallen asleep on _him_.

So, Steve was focusing on the movie, not wanting to miss any of its plot, when he suddenly felt Tony’s hair brushing against his cheek before his head came to rest on Steve’s shoulder.

He inhaled sharply, glancing down at the mop of brown hair now tickling his neck.

 _Oh God_ , he thought as he shifted slightly under the new weight, which only got Tony to lean even heavier into him. Steve felt himself blush, not knowing if he should thank whatever higher power there was for this situation, or if he should start weeping because this was seriously too much for his poor heart to take.

In the end, he just turned to glance down at Tony’s resting features, and Steve couldn’t help but think how easy it’d be to cast his fingers through Tony’s soft-looking hair. That was when his gaze snapped back to the TV screen because _dangerous train of thoughts_.

So he now went from intently watching the movie to watching it as if his life depended on it since he just knew if he let himself think too closely about Tony breathing into his shoulder, he’d go insane.

And he’d been coping relatively well with distracting himself up to the point when Rose asked Jack to draw her like one of his French girls. In a necklace. Only a necklace. And then Jack drawing her. In a necklace only.

Steve swallowed heavily as his brain instantly provided him with a different picture: Tony leaning in, his lips brushing against Steve’s ear as he asked him in a husky voice to draw him like one of his French girls. Steve, instead of answering, only able to nod jerkily and then being allowed to watch Tony strip directly in front of him. Then Tony positioning himself on a couch in front of Steve, all sprawled out glorious nudity with only the arc reactor glowing softly in his chest. Steve’s eyes savoring the picture several moments before reaching for his drawing utensils with shaky hands. And Tony grinning seductively the whole time, letting Steve draw him an agonizingly long time before finally standing up, slowly walking over to Steve with just the slightest swing to his walk. Tony climbing onto his lap, straddling him, starting to –

Tony moved against his shoulder and Steve would’ve jumped if he hadn’t been able to suppress it by sheer willpower. He blushed furiously as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He really needed to get a grip on himself. Otherwise he’d probably never live it down if he got an inappropriate boner, fantasizing about his teammate in the goddamn _living room_ with all his other teammates around him. Oh no, he’d never live it down.

Steve wondered in several ways what he’d done to deserve this.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to will the blush on his face down enough to actually feel like he could now look around whether one of his teammates had witnessed his little, uh, distraction or not. But it seemed like all of them were focused on the movie, except for Clint who was soundly asleep. Steve heaved an internal sigh of relief. At least it seemed as if he was spared from _that_ humiliation. Well, and like this, Steve forced his brain to behave itself.

It actually worked for once since he was able to watch the rest of the movie without any further…incidents. Well, and the movie ended with Jack and Rose kissing one more time, leaving Natasha and Bruce relatively composed, Thor a sobbing mess and himself with maybe one or two tears to wipe away.

“So,” Natasha said as the end credits started to roll over the screen. She stood up to stretch slightly, waking up Clint as she did so. “Now you know what I’ve been talking about.”

“This masterpiece surely combines both, drama and romance, in a most heart wrenching way” Thor said, wiping at his eyes.

“Oh Thor,” Natasha said, walking over to the Norse god to crouch in front of him. “It’s alright, it’s absolutely heart wrenching. But hey, what about making some Pop-Tarts? Wouldn’t that raise your spirits?”

Steve could basically watch Thor’s face lighting up at the prospect of one of his favorite Midgardian foods. So he happily started to lead the way to the kitchen, Natasha following him, saying, “So, if anyone else needs some Recovery-Pop-Tarts, we’ll be in the kitchen.”

“I’ve no idea what’s going on, and I don’t need any recovery, _but_ I want Pop-Tarts,” Clint said, not really awake yet, but seemingly enough to register the word ‘Pop-Tarts’. He gave Bruce and Steve a salute before he followed Natasha and Thor in their wakes.

Bruce and Steve turned to look at each other, a smile starting to form on both of their faces.

“Well,” Bruce said, getting up as well. “I don’t need any ‘Recovery-Pop-Tarts’, but I want some tea. What about you?”

Steve turned to glance at Tony’s still resting features before responding to Bruce, “W-Well, I think I’ll stay a little longer. You know, looking if there’s anything good on TV right now.”

Bruce’s lips twitched only slightly, but his eyes betrayed his amusement as he said, “Of course.” He picked up the remote and handed it to Steve before he left for the kitchen as well.

Steve looked at the remote in his hand, at the TV and then at Tony. 

_Oh,_ he thought, _I’m so fucked._

\------

When Tony blinked his eyes open, it was to an infomercial apparently trying to convince its audience of the unbelievable efficiency of their cordless vacuum cleaner. He blinked at it several times because first, he was pretty sure that this TV wasn’t his TV in his bedroom, and second, why the fuck was there an _infomercial_ on TV?

Tony overcame his shock pretty quickly as he realized that he wasn’t in bed in his bedroom but on the couch in the living room. Well, and that was the moment he saw himself confronted with the next problem that needed to be solved: How the hell did he end up basically lying on top of Steve?

Tony’s arc reactor didn’t seem to work for a short moment because he was pretty sure his heart just leapt in his chest as he stared at Steve, peacefully sleeping under Tony’s weight in a position which just couldn’t be comfortable to sleep in.

“Jarvis,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on Steve’s face, “what the actual fuck’s going on?”

“Well, it would appear as if Captain Rogers and Sir were sleeping together on the couch,” Jarvis very unhelpfully suggested at a low volume.

“Hilarious. I want to know how we _got_ to, uh, sleep together on the couch.”

“Sir fell asleep during the movie ‘Titanic’, and Captain Rogers seemed as if he wouldn’t want to disturb Sir’s sleep, so he stayed on the couch with Sir until he fell asleep himself.”

“Didn’t want to disturb my sleep, huh?” Tony kept on staring at Steve, trying not to move because if Steve woke up right now, things would definitely get awkward. Like, really awkward. Two grown men shouldn’t lie like this together because lying like this was actually pretty nice. Wait. Definitely not nice. Uncomfortable. Pretty uncomfortable, that was what he’d wanted to say. Obviously.

But coming to think of it, the feeling of Steve’s warm body against his didn’t feel _that_ bad, or rather, not bad at all.

He could feel Steve’s chest rising and falling with his even breathing, a calm and steady rhythm. Tony didn’t exactly know why, but the feeling, combined with the warmth radiating from Steve’s body, was somehow soothing, and he actually felt like he could go back to sleep right away. Which was weird. Because going back to sleep wasn’t easy. Hell, sleeping in general wasn’t that easy most of the time. But that didn’t mean he should use this opportunity to go back to sleep, no. Instead, he should stand up right now and go to his own goddamn bedroom and continue sleeping _there_ and not on top of Steve.

Well, he _could_ do that, but it’d mean he’d have to move. The very idea of the impossibly long and torturous way, separating him and his bed, send a shudder down his spine. So, no moving. Besides, it wouldn’t be nice to leave Steve all alone on the couch. So the only logical thing to do was to go back to sleep and act as if nothing had happened at all the next morning.

But before he did so, Tony looked at Steve’s face once more, watching the light of the TV dancing on it, and he wondered if Steve had always had eyelashes quite that long. Ugh, and that was the point where his brain started to get silly, meaning, he should go back to sleep. Right. Away.

* * *

> **Status** , Operation ‘Movie Night’: completed
> 
> **Evaluation** , Operation ‘Movie Night’: yet primary goal wasn’t met as expected, major success was achieved

**Author's Note:**

> operation two is soon to follow


End file.
